first dates.

Sorry dear readers (if, that is, there are any) about the delay in posts about the travel stories. Coupled with stress from CV writing (making it short and simple, but not too short and simple), cover letters (where I basically try and whore myself out) and everything else i between, such as nearly burning out my gears and dying in a horribly slow sPeed highway pile-up of inept drivers, trying to settle back into doing work and well... erm..working, i have neglected thy to empty posts every week or so.

I could write about my travel experiences, but I actually want to make them..good. They're something that I write not just for you, but me as well, so I can look back in a years time and see what I was up to. And I'd hate my recounts to be crappy and not so angst filled.

So without further ado. A hypothetical question (and I want you to comment on this folks! )I need to procrastinate and there's no better way than to read your comments) about:

First dates.

Everyone's been on them. It's always exciting/anxiety-provoking/palm-all-sweaty-and-butterflies-in-your-tummy kinda experience. At least it is when you like the other person.

So lets say, you have one lined up. You’ve chatted on the phone and after your last pseudo-fling-come-relationship, you’re very glad that at least in this case, you are not always the one who is making first contact. In fact, you don’t know how you feel about it at all...

On one hand, you’re the guy (it’s my blog and this is my hypothetical!) and you’re always used to making the 1st move, so there is a feeling of slight emasculation. On the other hand, the girl taking charge is, indeed, a turn on. At the end of it, it just leaves you intrigued. And that can only be a good thing.

“I know that Ive been mad in love before
And now it could be with you…”

(ED note: just to make it interesting, I thought I'd sprinkle it with lyrics from Massive Attack's "Unifinished Sympathy")

So you get dressed and put on your favourite shirt (or the one that your female friends always comment on, which you remember, but would never admit to if asked) and wonder just how much your attire will be picked apart by the other participant in said “date”. Mabybe you wonder just what they’re like and if you’re about to meet a psycho or get yourself into a train-wreck scenario.

Really hurt me baby, really hurt me baby
How can have a day without a night?

But anyway, my point is: how do you know if your date went well? Now I’m not talking about the ones where there is palpable electricity in the air and next thing you know, you don’t really need to imagine them naked because their lying next to you and it’s the morning after, but the other, subtler kind of dates. You know? The ones those are more… tricky to figure out.

So here is my checklist of a good, but not electrifying date. And if you can’t tell the difference between them, then really you need to check if you have Asperger’s syndrome.
1. You DO have those butterflies in your stomach/palpitations/dry mouth/sweaty palms etc.

I mean, really, if you’re uber-comfortable, then you dating history is either the size of Encyclopedia Britannica or you are a “Playa” I don't mean that you should look like a crack-junkie who needs to score, but there is a quiet nervousness that usually fills everyone. And I reckon it's a good feeling to have. You can even make fun of it on the night.

2. You, as well as them, are on time or have contacted each other about strenuous circumstances

Come on! how can someone who is dying to meet you be late without ringing you? They’re on their way to see you. It’s not like it could’ve slipped their mind! On that note, not cancelling the date is also a good start. =P

3. You find them, at least for the 1st hour, interesting.

Now obviously, unless you are the comic genius that I am or Tucker Max, initial conversations are always hard. Actually they’re hard for me too. Not that I’ll admit to as much normally. Here you have someone who is making as nervous as…say, applying for an intern position and doing an interview when they ask “so why do you want to work here?” and you really want to answer “I don’t!” or “Coz of the money!” but you cant. Why? Because you’ve just met them and you don’t know if they can handle sarcasm/cynicism/.

You don’t know if you mention that TV show, whether or not they’ll like it. Whether they like this or that. Or anything. It’s just full of uncertainty and they’re feeling the same.

So if you manage to pull off at least 1 hr of decent chatting, you are, in my opinion doing damn well. And let’s face it: you’e just met and unless the stars have aligned and she also loves the fact that the new Type N card is amazingly faster than the 108.11g standard, you probably will run out of steam soon after the 60 minute mark.

(ED note: if that’s what you end up talking about in a serious way, you both REALLY need to get out more. Or stop being so desperate and pretend that THAT topic is interesting. It’s not. Ever.)

4. Your night ends on a relative high.

This is kinda dot-point 3.5: you’re chatting and it’s great, but don’t let it get awkward before you end the night. If you leave the night still wanting to hang around for a few more minutes, then you’ve both done a good job. Jump while you still can. There is a lot to be said for anticipation. For both genders.

As for the ending itself (dot-point 4.0) – a kiss is obviously good. Especially those that you just know made her knees go weak and released certain natural lubricants at certain parts of the body.

Sex can be better. Well not really. If you’re on a date (ie NOT a hook-up) and are fucking on the 1st one, it will always cause you to think about wtf is going on? Is it short term or long? Is it just sex? What does the other want? This confuses both parties. While, this is not a hard and fast rule, many great relationships have begun like this, just keeping it in your pants til the 2nd date solves all these things!

(ED note: If someone I'm dating ever reads this: I really don't follow this one very much. Honest!)

5. After the date, you end up wanting to know more about your date.

C’mon. This is a given. A date is a taster: the person is kinda awkward but on show. You’ve got predominantly good qualities (except for nervousness) coming out and if you DON’T want to know more, then you’ve got yourself someone as interesting as a brick wall. Or an accountant.

You're the book that I have opened
And now Ive got to know much more...

So there you have it, my little guide to good dates. Now here is you're part: I want your opinions and suggestions. At the end, I'm going to compile the comments/suggestions and re-edit this post.

Get to it! Define your own dot-point about good (not great) dates. Ahh fuck it, define great as well.