the girl (take 2)

So as I was saying before I got side-tracked...

There is a girl (again not a love-interest- if circumstances were markedly different, then maybe, but not currently that's for sure!) The reason I got side-tracked is that I've only known her for several months, but I have to say, even though I don't have D'n'Ms with her or discuss anything but the superficial and the occasionally personal stuff, she has had THAT much of impact on my view of the world.

Ever since about say Yr11-12, I'd been whinging and making excuses. This had slowly gotten out of control and started impacting a lot on my life. I wasn't listening to people important to me and when I f^&ked up, I was making excuses. Immature? You bet ya! I was even too arrrogant (? not sure if that was the case) to listen to someone repeatedly try point this out, not that we communicate any longer - ah well. Also, for some strange reason, I wasn't happy where I was in life. Everything seemed to be out to get me and I thought/felt victimised/life was being a bitch to JUST me and I just couldn't deal with it. I blamed people/parents/Med - I think for a lot of things, I blamed Med.

I said it took away my social life.

I said I couldn't have hobbies because of it.

I said it took over your life and didn't have any other interests.

I was wrong.

I suppose I had to see it in someone, but there she was. This friend that I've slowly gotten to know. She loves med. I thought "NERD!" Nope! she doesn't like studying, apart from what she finds interesting (same as me). She also works (like me). Has other interests (sorta,kinda like me) and a social life (maybe unlike me).

Here was a person who was self-funded, who could juggle wards/finances/friends/other committments whilst studying (she got an awesome OSCE score - like 15% above me - which aint hard, but considering borderline range was 56% and I was higher than that - you do the math...) On top of that, the entire time I've known her, never have I heard her say she dislikes Med. Oh sure, she hates the lack of organisation/the stupid EBCP/HSM/HEc that we have to do, but Med overall, she loves it.

Just watching her made me realise sooooo many things that I do wrong. The other side of the proverbial fence was not just greener, but far far better a nicer fence than where I was. This was one primary impetus that got me of my arse to change my life (the other being the fact that I nearly died =S)

At the end of the day - she gave me hope of the possibility that it IS possible. What I want isnt just a proverbial mirage...

And though she'll never see this nor will I say this to her - Thank you. You, just by being you, have made my life so much better. So this post, I dedicate to you.