Your life isnt perfect, but your currently happy. You're having fun, you have your good friends, generally are enjoying yourself.
Then someone or something triggers it. A small impetus that pulses in your internal locus of consciousness, triggering a recollection of the past; a memory, but one that fills you with wistfulness, with loneliness and with raging hatred...
That is the moment I'm in. I was happy. For once, almost everything is on the right track, yet I suppose I have a lot to get over.
I really wish that I could forget the past, to destroy those etched images in my memory, those golden days. I wish they would disappear, so I had nothing to compare, nothing to contrast, just a fresh naive utopean image that was not so disturbingly warped into the vision that I now call reality. But alas, a lot of things have their basis in childhood, so not everything can be attributed to the events of recent.
But alas, I hate these moments. I wish I could do something for these moments. It's just that tiny spec in an otherwise perfect moment. I wish I could wipe it away, I wish I could erase it. *Sigh*
What do you do when you are here? What do you follow? Where do you go? Who do you trust?
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